jiggle your beluga-head

Hark, the siren’s song!

But wait, ‘tis but a beluga whale singing for its fish snacks.

Yes, we drove to Sea World as part of a whirlwind four day vacation. We arrived back unrested, but in our right minds.

We saw everything but the alligators (and maybe some sharks — they were on the map, but in the heat of the day we forgot about them).

I’m not even sure why zoos and the like have gators. At least not live ones.

If ever there was a case for animatronics, it can be made for replacing the alligator in captivity. I’d go so far as to say it would improve the situation — breath life into the frozen alligators who barely blink their eyes when you stand outside their pen and shout insults at them.

Too expensive? Try taxidermy.

Sea World San Antonio lived up to it’s claims in every way except for the turtles.

For their sea turtle exhibit, they stuck a fish tank halfway to nowhere in the park. You don’t go inside. You stand outside under an awning standing shoulder to shoulder with six other people.

That’s all that will fit.

Then you squint to see where the approximately two sea turtles are in the bad lighting.

One turtle will be at the very top, at the periphery of visibility as it breaks the surface of the water, and the other will be swimming away from you. Somehow, no matter how long you stand patiently observing, no matter the scientific limits — the hard boundaries — of the fist tank, the turtle will always be swimming away from you.

The best part of Sea World? When the beluga whales jiggled their bobbles.

Oh, and a killer whale did flips.

DadFace Directive

Speaking of flips…

Flip the script and write your own rules. Most writing instruction is about all the ways you should not write.

And after following these instructions, I was exceptional at not writing.

Finally I realized that none of these experts seemed to be following their own advice. You don’t need to either. Stop worrying about eliminating “ly” words from writing.

Most of these instructions are for the second, third, and fourth drafts.

Think about it this way…

The first round has different rules.

Win the first round with whatever you’ve got, any way you can, then you can think about the rules that apply to the second, third, and fourth rounds.

Yes, the Irish Twins loved Sea World. Their one complaint was that during the dolphin show we didn’t sit close enough to get soaked. And we didn’t buy fish at ripoff prices for them to feed the obese sea lions. But we found the penguins (and puffins!) and that made up for it.

Bye for now 👋

—DadFace

P.S. - New here? Put your email into the box to win a free subscription (and get the next newsletter edition in your inbox).