- Dear DadFace
- Posts
- "Get the midwife!"
I’m under intense political pressure to get this story right. MomBrain was none too keen on my first attempt… Missed the other episodes in this series? Catch up with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.
Felicity Noelle Williams was not born on Christmas. No, we gave her that name because we’ve created our own seasons…
Campaign Season: January-May
“In the spring, at the time when kings march out to war…” (1 Samuel 11:1 Berean Standard Bible version)
During these months, I’m deep in work, whether it’s an actual political campaign or lawmaking season (which also resembles a war campaign).
Birthday Season: June-September
Here’s a quick breakdown of the birthdays:
July: The Amazing Jillian & MomBrain
August: The Extraordinary Ellia
September: ‘Licity Lou
Christmas: October-December
I know, we’re almost as bad as retail.
Today’s story plays out like a miniature version of these seasons.
Campaign Season aka Marching To Battle/Birth
As the 9-month-all-you-can-eat buffet reached it’s finale, MomBrain called for a road trip.
On second thought, I think I’ll just quote MomBrain on how this all happened:
“I took a nap around noon and could tell I was having some contractions in my sleep, but I just kept napping. Around 1:30 I decided to get up and time them, and they suddenly jumped from 10 mins apart to 3 mins apart.”
“After about 30 mins. of that, we decided to get packed up and head to a friend’s house by the birth center. We were 45 mins from the birth center and I didn’t want to get stuck in traffic so she let us hang out in a room for a while.”
Honestly, trying to copy this from MomBrain’s Instagram post is more painful than the actual birth. For me.
Anyway, we were at the friend’s house. It had been a couple of hours. We wondered if we should go around the corner to the birth center.
This was our first time using a birth center and we were excited. A birth center is like a hotel where you leave with a complimentary baby.
But MomBrain thought we might have to go home. She was worried that the birth center people would come out in tuxedos and send her away. What if the baby wasn’t ready to come out yet, she asked?
Oh, we also had a doula with us. A doula is like a midwife except if you replaced knowledge and experience with enthusiasm.
Now, that’s not to be critical of doulas. Someone should be enthusiastic. I was busy worrying, MomBrain was laboring to actually birth the baby, and the midwives… well, you’ll just have to see what they were up to…
The doula started talking to MomBrain about driving over to the birth center. I agreed. We should go sooner than later, I thought.
MomBrain had reason to be worried. A day or two ago we had driven down to Humble and after everything was progressing nicely, the baby had suddenly locked herself inside and refused to come out. It ruined everyone’s day.
When we got to the birth center, they checked in with the baby: “Come out with your hands up, and don’t try any funny business.”
The baby was ready to come out.
Birthday Season aka Start the Party
What no one told us about birth centers is they stay busy with checkups all day. So MomBrain was ushered into a room and left to labor.
A short time later, the doula asks me to go get the midwife. I slip out of the room and look for the midwife, but all I can find is secretaries dressed as midwives.
I explain that we’d like a midwife to come by and check on things. They say they will find someone.
Several minutes go by.
The doula turns to me and says, “We need the midwife now.”
I go back out and run into the birth assistant who is helping the midwife.
She’s putting on blue gloves as she walks towards our room.
I beat the birth assistant back into the bathroom. MomBrain had decided to take a shower after asking us if the baby would ever be born.
The doula suggests I get a phone out of the other room to take pictures once the baby is born.
Weird. But I’m trying to be supportive so I go out to the bedroom and get my phone.
I step back into the bathroom and notice a strange hush.
The birth assistant is holding a blue baby.
I thought we were getting a pink baby, but I can’t complain.
Everyone seems confused as if they are not sure where the baby has come from.
The birth assistant goes to hand me the baby, which was a pretty fast handoff. I grab a towel and receive the baby.
That’s when I notice it.
The cord.
The umbilical cord is severed.
I figure out pretty quick that the birth assistant didn’t cut the cord. She is asking the doula to get her tools and medical apparatus from the bedroom.
I get the idea that one is supposed to have the baby in the bedroom.
The baby starts to get some color and it turns out the expensive test we took was right after all. It’s a girl!
To be continued… Next week we will cover the third point Christmas aka A Child is Born in the dramatic conclusion of the Notorious Retelling of Year.
Disclaimer: Most of the story you just read is a heap of exaggerations. MomBrain had asked the birth center midwives to interrupt as little as possible. They did an excellent job following her wishes while also making sure the baby was born safely.
MomBrain did a marvelous job having the baby, and nearly got her original wish of having an unassisted birth. A wish I vetoed.
Later I heard the birth assistant had walked into the bathroom, reached out, and caught the baby. That’s how fast it was.
Ditto for the doula, who was a couple seconds away from catching the baby herself.
DadFace Directive (one simple action step you can do today to fulfill your daily writing habit):
Our brains love structure. I don’t have time to get into why (classic Dad answer to avoid admitting ignorance).
You can get the benefits of structure just by adding a framing device at the beginning.
Pick a story that has 2 or 3 points, sections, elements, etc.
Match up 2 or 3 points or stories in your article with the 2 or 3 points in your opening story.
Create subheads clearly labeling the connection between that section of your article and the opening story.
If anything is confusing, go back and reread the beginning of this email. If you’ve got questions, hit reply and let me know!
Girls say “Hey!”
-DadFace
P.S. - Let’s bring back email forwarding! Make Aunt Bertha proud by sharing this email with someone you think would get a kick out of the story or is interested in writing tips. Try it, it’s fun!