- Dear DadFace
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- Escape aka “The Pina Colada Song”
I cancelled myself.
I typed up one of my favorite newsletters yet… rivaling the newsletter that started it all…
Okay, not quite.
But it was right up there with the Family Newsletter of ‘22. It even finished one of the stories I had promised you and then neglected!
But due to unforeseen events, I have replaced it with a completely noncontroversial email that will not start a family feud.
Okay, it might have rock ‘n roll music. And drunkenness.
Other than that, it’s not controversial AT ALL.
Except the infidelity.
Escape. You know, the Pina Colada Song. It’s basically an O’Henry short story set to music.
I’m a teetotaler, so the choice of drink featured in the song is lost on me. But I do like the story.
…it’s not completely lost on me. The way I read it, the singer-songwriter, Rupert Holmes, wrote the lyrics and had some random drink in the song, like a Hi-C.
But then he realized “Pina Colada” sounded more exotic.
Other random fact: Escape is the only one of his songs that hit the #1 slot on Billboard’s Hot 100.
Back to the song.
A guy is bored of his wife and answers a personal ad for a lady who wants go on an adventure and escape.
Here, I’m butchering it, so let me quote you the answer he sends to the paper (and all the rest):
I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kinda mean
But me and my old lady
Had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad
Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape
So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh, it's you"
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew"
"That you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne…
Pretty clever, huh?
It’s the twist ending I like. Also the emotion it evokes.
You’re like, “I hate this song.”
Then the tension is resolved as the ending is revealed and you sigh in contented relief.
And that’s the…
DadFace Directive
Sorry, Mom. I won’t write about alcohol for the rest of the year.
—DadFace, Level 100 Total Teetotaler Tale-teller